August 19, 2012
“Legitimate Rape”

Rep. Todd Akin, the newly-christened GOP Senate nominee in Missouri, said in a Sunday interview that “legitimate rape” rarely causes pregnancy. From the Washington Post:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors, (pregnancy from rape) is really rare,” Akin told KTVI-TV in a clip posted to YouTube by the Democratic super PAC American Bridge. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Akin added: “But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”

He later apologized for his ridiculously stupid remarks, but said he stands by his belief that abortion, even in the case of pregnancy resulting from rape, should never be allowed.

I’m still baffled by the notion of “legitimate rape” and the ways in which a female body can shut down a pregnancy when that happens — probably with the biological off switch. Regardless of his beliefs, do we really want someone in a political power of position who doesn’t even know the fundamentals of biology?

August 19, 2012
Door Does Impression of Miles Davis

Well played parking garage door in Chicago, well played. I don’t know if it really does sound like “Bitches Brew”, but hey, I’m duly impressed there’s a door that can play Miles Davis. [via tastefullyoffensive]

August 14, 2012
A New Insurance Company Low

Just when you thought insurance companies couldn’t be any more reprehensible, comes this story of Progressive Insurance defending a policy holder’s killer in court so they wouldn’t have to pay out.

In hopes that a jury would hang or decide that the accident was her fault, they refused to pay the policy to my sister’s estate.

Out of a sense of honor, and out of a sense of the cost of my sister’s outstanding student loans, my folks opted to try to go after the money through legal channels. At which point they learned another delightful thing. In Maryland, you may not sue an insurance company when they refuse to fork over your money. Instead, what they had to do was sue the guy who killed my sister, establish his negligence in court, and then leverage that decision to force Progressive to pay the policy.

Now my parents don’t harbor much venom for the guy who killed my sister. It was an accident, and kicking that guy around won’t bring Katie back. But kicking that guy around was the only way to get Progressive to pay. So they filed a civil suit against the other driver in hopes that, rather than going to court, Progressive would settle. Progressive did not. Progressive made a series of offers (never higher than 1/3 the amount they owe) and then let it go to a trial.

At the trial, the guy who killed my sister was defended by Progressive’s legal team.

Wow. Just. Wow. [via waxy]

August 13, 2012
How Big is The Ocean?

So big that a floating raft of pumice stone in the South Pacific Ocean, that happens to be 300 miles long and about 35 miles wide, or roughly 200 square miles larger than New Jersey, could go undetected for any length of time.

It’s likely the rocks are the result of an underwater volcano, Monowai, erupting. Lava turns to pumice when cool rapidly. That also means it’s possible an underwater volcano has been erupting without scientists knowing either. [Thanks, Paul!]

August 10, 2012
“Call Me Maybe” Chatroulette Version

Just when we thought the “Call Me Maybe” tributes couldn’t get better than versions by Sesame Street and Star Wars, it’s time we all just give a hearty round of applause to Steve Kardynal for delivering a hilarious dose of WTF in August.

I don’t really have anything to say, except I haven’t laughed this much at anything, since Community’s “Remedial Chaos Theory” episode. By the way, the original by Carly Rae Jepsen has been viewed close to 200 million times on YouTube.

That just boggles my noggin’, much like the number of different bikinis Kardynal owns.

July 31, 2012
Snoop Dogg Smokes Himself Retarded, Emerges as Snoop Lion

Not the Onion:

Snoop Dogg changed his name to “Snoop Lion” after a spiritual awakening in Jamaica this February, which he described to reporters at a press conference on Monday. […]

Snoop told reporters that he was rechristened Snoop Lion by a Rastafarian priest.

“I want to bury Snoop Dogg, and become Snoop Lion,” he told reporters, according to news.com.au. “I didn’t know that until I went to the temple, where the High Priest asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg.’ And he looked me in my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From that moment on, it’s like I had started to understand why I was there.”

So that happened.

July 23, 2012
Schrodinger’s Missing Cat in Portland

Be on the lookout okay. Not sure where in Portland this flyer was found, but it gave me a good chuckle. Anyone want to send Erwin an email and see what they have to say? [via reddit]

July 19, 2012
Just Five Guys Standing Under an Exploding Nuclear Bomb

In 1957, five Air Force volunteers and one photographer stood at ground zero in the Nevada desert of a  nuclear bomb test happening 18,500 feet above them.

In this astonishing film, you can see and hear the men waiting for a bomb to explode, followed by the flash of the blast and then the rolling shock wave. NPR’s Robert Krulwich says you have to see this to believe it and I’m inclined to agree.

More on the test and the men who took part in it over at Krulwich Wonders. But, let’s at least give these guys one “HOLY SHITBALLS OF STEEL” before wrapping up. [via laughingsquid]

July 14, 2012
CalTech Faces NCAA Violations But Penn State is Still Being Investigated?

If there was ever the juxtaposition of two stories to perfectly demonstrate how utterly corrupt and devoid of integrity the NCAA is, it would be the just-released report by former FBI Director Louis Freeh on how former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was not only allowed to exist on campus while raping young boys, but largely ignored by Penn State University, along with the strange case of CalTech, which we’ll get to in a second.

The Penn State investigation is a damning report.

“The most senior officials at Penn State had shown a ‘total and consistent disregard’ for the welfare of children, had worked together to actively conceal Mr. Sandusky’s assaults, and had done so for one central reason: fear of bad publicity. That publicity, Mr. Freeh said Thursday, would have hurt the nationally ranked football program, Mr. Paterno’s reputation as a coach of high principles, the Penn State ‘brand’ and the university’s ability to raise money as one of the most respected public institutions in the country,” reports the NY Times.

Buzz Bissinger says the revelations are so bad that Penn State football should be given the death penalty for at least five years.

“The NCAA is about money, billions of it raised through tournaments and bowl games; Penn State has the second-highest profits of any football team in the country next to the University of Texas, about $50 million dollars. Excuse my English, but does the NCAA want to f—k with that? Does the school want to f—k with that?,” asks Bissinger.

Though the NCAA is conducting an investigation, nothing has happened to the program yet, and you don’t have to answer Bissinger’s question to fathom how this is all going to play out. Death Penalty? Hardly. They’ll probably give Penn State a slap on the wrist because sports and money will always trump the welfare of young kids and academics, as far as the NCAA is concerned.

So, while Penn State is merely being investigated for its institutional transgressions, conversely, the NCAA put CalTech athletics on three years probation for lacking institutional control. Yes, the same CalTech that is widely regarded as the finest academic institution on the planet.

The school allowed 30 ineligible student-athletes across 12 sports to practice or compete during four academic years. However, it turns out that CalTech student-athletes were merely shopping for classes and not technically full-time students, which made them ineligible.

“In other words, CalTech didn’t lack institutional control, they had an abundance of institutional apathy towards athletics. They didn’t have procedures in place to verify enrollment or academic standing,” points out Rob Dauster.

So, to recap: CalTech cared more about academics and having bona fide student athletes and is put on probation, while Penn State knowingly covered up a football coach’s predilection for raping young boys and let it happen for half-a-decade and is merely being investigated by the NCAA.

July 12, 2012
Bill Murray’s Party Crashing Tour

“Now for the month of August, Murray will be bringing his party-crashing to a whole new level with an organized tour of random stop-ins. If you’re having a party in any of the cities he’s visiting, put up a big sign that says “BILL MURRAY CAN CRASH HERE” to let him know he is welcome. Hopefully this announcement won’t bring too much pandemonium — no one wants a party with Bill Murray broken up by the cops. Oh yes, and alcohol and karaoke are a must-have.”

Murray will be hitting U.S. cities including Phoenix, Portland, San Francisco, Austin, Philly, Chicago, Kansas City, Boston and many more. There’s even a hotline number you can call for more information.

July 10, 2012
Watch This Clam Eat Salt

This is at once the most fascinating video and the most repulsive video I’ve seen in a long time. At the same time, all I can think about is how tasty that clam would be steamed in white wine and garlic and drizzled with drawn butter. [via kottke]

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July 6, 2012
Obviously

Of course Units Magazine believes that size matters. We’re more of the motion of the ocean school of thought, but that’s just us. The magazine is sitting on the coffee table of the house I’m currently staying in. Perhaps our brain just stopped developing at 13, which is why we find the juxtaposition giggly.

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